ABOUT ALENA HUBEROVA
Fifteen years in the corporate arena with roles in marketing, sales and communication, living in 5 different countries across Europe and Asia. Today Alena works with individual and corporate clients on developing their communication, public speaking and influencing skills. Since 2017, she has focused on working with female executives. SHELeads is her signature online training program designed to help women shine with their uniqueness, powerfully influence people and become inspiring leaders who never lose sight of who they are, Powerful & Feminine.
Alena’s achievements include speaking at the TEDx UNYP 2017 conference, winning the second place in the 2018 Czech National Championship of Public Speaking, and coaching X.GLU, a team from the Czech Technical University to win the world title at the Microsoft Imagine Cup 2017 in Seattle, USA (in collaboration with Presenation.com).
Alena is regularly asked to speak at industry events and conferences. She is a contributor to various magazines and newspapers. You can read her articles and follow her blog at: www.alenahuberova.com
Do you know what is a sure-fire sign you’re getting old? That you become highly politically incorrect. Think your grandpa for instance, and the startling statements coming out of his mouth sometimes. He probably no longer cares so much about what people think of him, nor has a burning desire to impress others and showcase his virtues. Are you also getting old? I have a feeling I am…
A month ago I went to a social event. It was one of these ‘smart’ events with ‘smart’ looking people. I arrived to the venue, got myself a drink and chose a strategic corner from which to observe the happenings. I was impressed! Even from my remote corner I could hear flashy sounding job titles and jaw-dropping stories of achievements. And then… “Hello”, I notice someone tapping on my shoulder. I turn around and there’s a lovely looking couple in their forties. We exchanged a few pleasantries and The Question popped up immediately: “So Alena, what do you do?” Uhmmm, I thought to myself, don’t get me started! I felt it coming… I could taste it in my mouth… My perfectly crafted pitch! I was ready to play the game and play it big with something extraordinary to leave them in awe. But then (I don’t know how that happened!), I swallowed it and something else came out instead: “Me? I have fun! Loving my life here in Prague!”. You could tell from the look at their faces, they didn’t expect such a response and they weren’t quite sure how to take the conversation further. There was an awkward silence…
Don’t we just love impressing each other?
This little episode made me think. Don’t we just love impressing each other? Is that somethings inherent to the human nature? Is that a learnt skill? Does the dopamine flood our system, making us feel so good that we have to do it time and time again?
I don’t know but it most certainly proves to be very useful…
I remember when I left the corporate world and started my own business, I attended all kinds of educational courses to help me develop an entrepreneurial mindset and acquire essential skills to get my business off the ground.
One of the first things I learnt was to impress potential customers without having anything to impress them with. How? Easy! ‘Fake it till you make it’, very useful skill indeed. I remember waking up in the mornings covered in cold sweat thinking how on earth am I going to make ends meet at the end of the month. But I would swallow my fears, put on my best gear, give myself a confidence boost with a couple of power poses and off I went to impress potential customers and convince them that doing business with me was crucial for their success!
The next invaluable thing I learnt was to showcase my brilliance in a very clever way, without making it plain obvious. I learnt the art of bragging without bragging. What a gem! All you need to do is drop very subtle (but powerful) phrases or comments in the conversation. “Ah, I am so sorry I am late! The traffic was so bad on getting out of the TV Nova station! If you were actually interviewed by the TV station or you just had a coffee with a friend who works there, doesn’t really matter! It works, they will be impressed! Or Social Media! It is a heaven for the art of bragging without bragging. You put on your best clothes, borrow a Rolex watch from a friend, take pictures of yourself at the best restaurant in town and post them to your Instagram stories. Do not worry. You don’t need to order a meal and spend your entire monthly wage in the process, just get a coffee! The results are well worth it! Or, say you want to show what a wonderful parent you are! Just get your partner and the kids to pose at some magnificently looking location, with their best smiles on. The fact that your partner has been cheating on you for years doesn’t matter. No one will know and they will be impressed…
When you think about it, we jump at the opportunity to impress each other at every occasion, online or face-to-face. I think we all do it to varying degrees, in our own clever unique ways and truth be told, it yields certain results. As someone who is self- employed, I see the benefits of doing this in business especially when you’re starting out and have no proven track record. But, didn’t we take this game of ‘look how amazing I am’ too far? Both on the emitting and receiving sides of the game? Or you never caught yourself staring at someone’s Instagram account, thinking you could do with some of their magnificent looks and lavish life style?
There are two sides to every coin
Ying & young, day & night, light & dark, good & bad. We live in a world of polarity. Success does not exist without failure. Creation does not exist without destruction. Perfection does not exist without flaws. The same applies to each and every one of us. We too have two sides to us. The bright and shiny side with our achievements and successes, our strengths and virtues. And the dark side with our demons, our flaws, failures and frustrations, with our little dark secrets. Both sides are essential parts of who we are. Yet, it seems to me we walk around in life with a mask on, showcasing the perfect version of ourselves. And we spend a tremendous amount of energy and effort on covering up our shortcomings and everything else that could hurt the perception others have of us. Does it really have to be that way? Where is our authenticity?
Let’s celebrate our flaws and failures
I am all for showcasing and celebrating our successes, oh yes! But what if we also celebrate our flaws, failures and fuckups? And acknowledge our demons? What if we drop the mask and start showing more of who we really are under all that armor? What if we let go of our politeness and be honest about how we really feel and what we really think? How would that be? I believe a tremendous amount of weight would get off our shoulders. We could finally let our guard down and who knows? Perhaps we could feel just a little more free and happier…
Going back to my story and the clumsy start of my conversation with the lovely looking couple. Needless to say, I managed to squeeze my perfect pitch into our exchange (oh well, I am not perfect) but then the conversation shifted and we ended up talking about what we hated in each other’s cultures, laughing about our peculiar habits, sharing stories of of our relationship failures etc. Our interaction has moved to a whole new level. We opened up, it felt real and genuine. And I think I left the event with two new friends…
So, speaking for myself, I think it’s worth it to be more politically incorrect. And, we don’t need to wait to get old to try it…
My best wishes!
Alena
By Alena Huberova
Leadership Trainer / Keynote Speaker Helping Women Become Inspiring Leaders, Powerful & Feminine